The Constant Grazer
While the meal has a specific start time, for this person it never really ends. Yes, they’ll take seconds – or thirds or fourths – during the meal, but two hours after the table has been cleared, they stroll by with a roll in hand or another piece of pie or have already cracked open the leftovers to make a turkey-and-stuffing sandwich.
At least you know they won’t be leaving hungry.
The Chit Chat
They’re the one who looks over your shoulder as you chop vegetables or stir soup or carve turkey, sometimes asking about the food you’re making but also asking about the kids and the job. They’re not physically in the way – surprisingly spry to move as you swing around with a hot pan of whatever – and they’re not really offering to help, but they sure are chatty.
And when you’re mindlessly peeling your twentieth potato, the conversation can be nice.
The Sideline Spectator
The holidays aren’t about food or gifts or tradition. They’re about the big game – and the meal better not interfere with that. And if the big game hasn’t started, then this person is talking about the big game. Or they’re in the backyard tossing the football. You could serve peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and this person would be perfectly content.
It’s nice to know that any disappointment they feel that day will be from the game, not the meal.
The Tiny Slice Sampler
It’s the season of indulgence, which is probably why everyone loves the holidays. And sometimes that means having to try a little bit of everything. Of course, when you’ve got a spread of 10 pies, that also means having to fulfill the many requests of, “Just a teeny, tiny slice would be great” and then hearing them say, “Oh, that’s way too big” and then watching them eat it all anyway.
Because pies are delicious. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
The Helpless Helper
They offer to help, but then follow up with, “Where do you guys keep your knives?” They’re willing to hand-mash those potatoes, but then they follow up with, “Can you come over here and look to see if these are mashed enough?” They set the table, but put all the knives on the left side of the plates.
But at least you’re not having to do it all on your own.
The Do Not Disturb
We all understand dozing off after the big meal – full belly, soft couch. But there’s always that one person who – before it’s even time to eat! – settles down into the cushions and drifts away. And then you’re not really sure if you should wake them for the meal. They just seem so peaceful.
But you do anyway. Because these four different types of stuffing aren’t going to eat themselves.
The Will They, Won’t They
You’re not really sure if they’re going to come – you never got a definitive answer – and if they do come, they’re probably going to be late. But you’re about to carve the turkey and you’re not sure if you should wait.
But people are hungry – hangry, even. And there will be plenty of leftovers.
The Meal Crasher
It’s not that they’re not welcome; you’re just not sure who invited them. Are they a distant cousin? A friend of a friend? They seem more like a tourist – wandering around from room to room, taking it all in. You’re not really sure who they are, but it doesn’t really matter. It’s the season of spending time with old friends as well as making new ones. And there’s always room for one more at the table.