II’m Turning into my Mother and It’s Not So Bad!

I’m Turning into my Mother and It’s Not So Bad!

When I open my mouth, my mother comes out. Find out why I don’t mind.


By: Amanda Palmer

At the very moment the phrase “because I said so” crossed my lips, the deal was sealed — I’d crossed over to the mom side. I promised myself it would never happen, that I’d be a cool mom forever, but it happened just the same. Now that I’m officially in mom world, I realize how transformative motherhood is and I celebrate it every single day.

For me, any sign of becoming my mother is a compliment. We may not share the same ideas about appropriate shorts length, but I think I’m adopting every other aspect of her mothering.

Growing up, I heard mom-isms like, “Be careful what you wish for” or “Just wait until your father gets home” and the disagreement of the moment screeched to a halt. It almost wasn’t fair from a kid’s perspective. As a mom? They couldn’t get any better. At first, I cringed a little, but I’ll admit — the results made me giddy inside!

You could say I took a lot for granted as a child, as far as really understanding what my mother provided. But didn’t we all? I think of how she tucked in three kids every single night, exhausted from the day, but still patient enough to listen to our prayers and requests for water. Now I realize how hard that must have been.

Even now, when it comes to meals, I find myself asking, “What would my mom do?” It’s what gives me the strength to do the right thing. Despite my stomach grumbling louder than the TV, I prep and serve my child’s lunch first. I play the “two-more-bites” game as long as I can before I switch to short-order cook mode. I’m even picturing myself using the “stay-at-the-table-until-it’s-gone” method in a few years. And I still can’t fathom how my mom planned dinners for a family of five picky eaters.

I used to make fun of her detailed grocery lists, but I get it now. I also used to tease her about the oldies radio station she blared in her room while getting ready, but I understand that now (though I prefer ‘90s music). There are these go-to solace-seeking, pace-setting tactics moms use to stay sane, and unfortunately, those same tactics are usually the targets for poking fun by the very kids that push you to the brink of insanity! But my mom owned it, so I am too.

How enlightening would it be to go back in time, to an ordinary day when my mom was in the throes of motherhood, and chat with her as the mother I am now? I wonder how different our tactics would be, our perspectives, or our limits and moments of weakness. Instead, all I have to go on are my memories and watching my mother interact with my own daughter. It’s no time machine, but I’ll take it.

I celebrate my mom and my own motherhood by pulling the past, present and future together. Remembering the things my mom said that really clicked with me, and the things she would do to comfort me. Then I try them with my daughter and see what happens. I also try to live in the moment as much as I can so that someday, my daughter will be reminiscing about the songs I sang to her and the dorky dances I did in the kitchen.

And you know what? I’m going to call that a win. I’m perfectly content having crossed over to the mom side. If being a cool mom means rejecting mom-isms, well, I guess I’m not that cool. Or maybe it just means my true awesomeness won’t be revealed until my little girl is a mom one day too.

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When I was growing up I always said I would not be like my parents also, but I caught myself doing the same things they did /said. I turned out great, and now I also have older children that have turned out wonderful. I am going to continue raising the younger children the same way. Guess my parents where right.

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When I was growing up I always said I would not be like my parents also, but I caught myself doing the same things they did /said. I turned out great, and now I also have older children that have turned out wonderful. I am going to continue raising the younger children the same way. Guess my parents where right.

  • Report it
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