By Betsy Voreacos
Remember those easy-peasy days before you had kids? When you could have strong opinions and stick to your guns? When you could say, “I will NEVER!” and actually mean it? Look at yourself now. You’re doing and saying all kinds of things you swore you never would. But at least you’re in good company, because most moms can relate to a few (or all!) of these, too.
Drive a Minivan
There’s something so final, so grown-up, and so totally uncool about driving a minivan. With every friend who purchased one, you vowed a little louder, “I will NEVER drive a minivan!” And now, here you are, cruising around town in your own sweet minivan ride. And you’re proud.
Bribe Your Kids With Sweets
You once shook your head in disgust at the woman in the grocery store who ripped open the cookies before she reached the checkout line. Miraculously, her kid stopped crying instantly, but you couldn’t stop thinking about what poor parenting that represented. Today, of course, you never leave home without a lollipop bribe in your pocket.
Image ©iStock.com/ Kati1313
Say “Because I Said So”
Nope. Never. You would never resort to using the most ridiculous response in the history of parenting. Until, of course, you did.
Image ©iStock.com/Rasmus Rasmussen
Skip Pages in the Bedtime Story
You knew right from the get-go how important it was to spend quality time reading to your kids. You vowed to be completely present, read every single word, and savor every single moment of that precious bonding time. And then one day you skipped a page by accident. And the next night you did it again – on purpose.
Serve Chicken Nuggets All. The. Time.
The one thing you just didn’t get was why moms let their kids eat junk. If you simply never introduce it, your kid will always be a healthy eater. Easier said than done, of course. So you let them have the occasional fast-food chicken nugget, justifying it to yourself by saying, “All things in moderation!” Until you realized the concept of “moderation” was a lot harder to enforce than you’d thought. And now you have an economy-size bag of breaded chicken shapes in your freezer at all times.
Let Your Kid Sleep in Your Bed
Nothing would ever come between you and your husband. Not even your kid. Unless, of course, you’re barely even in your bed because you’re up and down dealing with your toddler all night. So in desperation you bring him back to your bed, and you all get lots of sleep, and it’s nothing short of miraculous. And then you even start to enjoy the snuggles, but you can’t admit that to anyone because your kid isn’t actually sleeping in your bed, because you would never be one of those families. Nope.
Get a Dog
Come ON – like you needed one more dependent mammal! But this one sort of helps keep the kitchen floor clean, and gives you a reason to exercise every day, so it’s a justifiable trade-off.
Let Your House Fall Into Disarray
How hard can it be to just clean up as you go along? Put away the dishes as soon as the dishwasher is done? Mop up the messes right after they happen? Oh, childless self. You were so ambitious.
Let Your Kids Eat in Front of the TV
This tends to start as an occasional thing borne out of parental desperation. But it’s just so easy and they even eat their vegetables when there’s a show there to distract them. Vegetables, people!
What did you never imagine you’d do as a mom that can’t imagine not doing now?
Betsy Voreacos lives with her family a stone’s throw from Manhattan in the diverse and culturally rich town of Teaneck, New Jersey. An overly-involved mother of three active children, Betsy has always been acutely aware of her shortcomings as a parent, not to mention those of her children. A freelance writer and blogger, she documents her life in the brutally honest Old Minivans Die Hard.