10 'Bad' Moms Confess: I Have No Idea What I'm Doing With My Big Kid!

10 'Bad' Moms Confess: I Have No Idea What I'm Doing With My Big Kid!

If you thought it got easier after the toddler years, these moms are proving you wrong!

By Wendy Robinson

I had always hoped that once I survived the baby and toddler years I would feel like I really had my act together as a mom. Spoiler alert: I have a school-aged big kid now, and I still feel like I’m flying by the seat of my pants and making it up as I go along. Last night was my son’s first soccer game, and while I did remember to bring him and his shin guards, I apparently missed the memo that all the really competent parents also remember to bring water bottles, snacks, and money for the ice cream truck afterwards. So, my kid was thirsty, hungry, and left out of the ice cream line -- oops. Time to return my ‘Mother of the Year’ trophy.

As always, as soon as I mention my particular screw-up on social media I get reminded that I’m not the only “bad mom” out there.

1. “So, apparently, you have to teach your kid to tie their own shoes? I kind of forgot to do that, and now, my kid is the only one in second grade still wearing Velcro shoes. I guess I know what we’ll be working on this summer.” -- Mary G.

2.“Our school does great field trips, but they usually cost a little extra money. It isn’t a lot, between $3 and $10, but I keep forgetting to send it in. We have the money; I just can’t seem to keep it on my radar to send it in. I was so embarrassed the other day when I was chatting with my kid’s teacher about an upcoming field trip and she lowered her voice and said, ‘And don’t worry, another parent donated money to help pay for all the kids to go, because they don’t want anyone to miss out just because money is tight at home.’ Apparently, my forgetfulness has resulted in my daughter getting field trip ‘scholarships,’ and now the teacher thinks we are broke. I’m going to write a big check at the end of the year to refill the scholarship fund for kids who are actually needy and not just cursed with a disorganized mom.” -- Nina D.

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3. “I missed the end-of-the-year concert, which is mostly first-graders shout-singing old folk songs for 15 minutes, because my pedicure appointment went long.” -- Kelly S.

4. “I’m super proud of the note from the teacher I got informing me that my child frequently says ‘damn it all to hell’ when frustrated. Did I mention my kid is in kindergarten? And that when I’m frustrated or mad I say the exact same thing? Yep.” -- Laurie O.

5. “My fifth-grader forgot her lunch and her important science project, so I, being a good mom, nicely brought them to school for her. She must get her forgetfulness from me, because I realized afterwards that I forgot to put my bra on before dashing into her classroom. She was horrified.” -- Polly H.

6. “I am not sure if I am going to survive this age. My son is 9, and I thought I had a few more years before I had to deal with constant eye rolling and fights about everything under the sun. I may have to look into boarding schools if I can’t figure out how to deal with the back talk.” -- Suzi C.


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7. “My son found a garter snake at school and tried to smuggle it into his classroom by shoving it down his pants. I have raised someone with apparently no common sense whatsoever.” -- Melinda P.

8. “My son is saving up to buy a particular expensive toy he wants. I’m pretty free-range about parenting, and now that he is 7, I let him ride his bike around the block. Last night he came back from a bike ride with $11 in loose change and dollar bills in his pockets. When I asked him where the money came from, he told me he was asking neighbors if they had any money they could give him so he could add it to his piggy bank. Yes, he was hustling the neighbors for handouts. So proud. And by ‘proud’ I mean mortified.” -- Grace T.

9. “I took my 11-year-old son to the doctor, because I thought he had a suspicious-looking mole by his hairline. Paid a $50 co-pay to discover that it is a just a really big, really gross blackhead caused by an ongoing failure to clean behind his ears. The doctor extracted it, and it was spectacular.” -- Dianne C.

10. “After yet another bloody nose at school, I got a note home from the school nurse urging us to do more to curb my kid’s nose-picking habit. I’m doing my best, lady! I know it is gross!” -- Heather H.

I’m not always sure of much as a parent, but I’m sure of this: Children are given to us to keep us humble.

What are you still trying to figure out with your big kid?

Wendy Robinson is a writer, working mom, and graduate student. Someday she'd like to sleep in again. She also blogs at www.athleticmonkey.com.

Image ©iStock.com/vitapix

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