10 Reasons There’s Nothing in Your Closet to Wear

10 Reasons There’s Nothing in Your Closet to Wear

A funny look at why moms everywhere say they have nothing to wear!


By Heather Chaet

You stare at your closet. You shift the empty hangers and think, “Where are my clothes??” You spy your dresser. There will be clothes in there, you just know it. The drawers slide out easily. You rummage through each one with no results. You head back to the closet. Nothing has magically appeared.

Perhaps this is an exaggeration, but there are days (weeks?) when it seems you face the same plight every morning as you struggle to get dressed. Oh, trust us, we’ve all been there. Only moms will understand this list of 10 reasons why you have nothing to wear.

1. Your favorite little black dress was worn by your 6-year-old yesterday. She needed something black to attend the funeral of Madame Bubbles, her imaginary friend Coco’s goldfish. Little did you know she would be making a “We will miss you!!!!!” card with sticky glitter glue. Sigh. There’s no way that’s coming out of silk.

2. The last time you went shopping for new clothes, you bought three shirts, two pairs of jeans, and a dress – all for your kids. What did you buy for yourself? Socks.

3. It’s your husband’s turn to do the laundry. Or buy the detergent. Or both.

4. You signed up to chair your school’s PTA auction or, as some say, you went momentarily insane and signed away every waking moment of your life for the next four months to a time-eating beast.

5. You’re hoping that the pile of laundry will eventually become large enough to develop critical thinking skills and be able to put itself into the machine. Hey, a mom can dream, can’t she?

6. Because spit-up will never be the new black.

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7. You joined a gym in an attempt to fit back into those pre-pregnancy jeans. The problem? It’s right next door to that yummy doughnut shop.

8. Because repeating the mantra “Keep Calm and Just Ignore the Mount Everest-Sized Mound of Laundry” doesn’t really seem to be making the pile go away, but you do feel pretty mellow.

9. You can’t face the lady at the dry cleaners and that sad little headshake she does when you try to explain why every single one of your sweaters has chocolate sauce stains.

10. Two words: stomach flu.

When was the last time you found you didn’t have something to wear?


Heather Chaet documents her mini parenting successes, epic mommy fails, and everything in between for a plethora (love that word!) of publications and websites such as CafeMom, New York Family, and AdWeek. While her online persona is found at heatherchaet.com, Heather lives in New York City with her film director husband and one insanely curious, cat-obsessed daughter.

Image ©iStock.com/gk-6mt


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