10 Things I Want My Daughter to Know

10 Things I Want My Daughter to Know

Got a daughter? Here’s what one mom wants her little girl to know as she grows up.

By Nicole Fabian-Weber

My 3-year-old daughter is the smartest, funniest, most beautiful girl who's ever lived. To me, of course. She's the apple of my eye. The joy of my life! And, I really, really want to make sure I'm doing right by her and teaching her valuable lessons every day. Is that realistic? Or am I putting too much pressure on myself?

As with many parenting things, I'm not sure. Some days seem easier than others when it comes to kids. Some days I'm all, "Yeah! I'm kicking butt at this parenting thing!" Other days? Not so much. So, for those days when I feel like I'm just not doing a very good job at, well, anything, I made a list of things I want my daughter to know. Perhaps glancing at it will give me – and others -- perspective and keep the important things in mind.

Here, 10 things I want my daughter to know as she grows up.

1. It's OK to like princesses and monster trucks. It feels like there's so much debate and pressure over what toys kids should be playing with today. My daughter happens to like both the girliest of toys, as well as trinkets traditionally associated with boys. Does it have to be all or nothing? I want my girl to know that she doesn't have to exist in a neat little box of being a "girly girl" or a "tomboy." She can be both.

2. Some people will hurt your feelings. I will do my best to prepare my sweet toddler girl to be confident and secure in life and to not put too much emphasis on what other people do or think. But, being that she's human (and being that not all humans are nice), it's inevitable that she will one day be hurt by another person's words or actions. I wish I could stop this from happening, but I can't. And, more than anything, I want her to know that I am here for her when she feels sad or let down.

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3. You are beautiful. It's no secret that society and the media put unrealistic expectations on girls to be pretty and thin and, well, perfect. I want my girl to know that, no matter what she looks like or feels like, she truly will always be the most beautiful girl in the world to her father and me.

4. It's OK to speak up. Things are getting better, but again, sometimes society teaches girls not to speak their minds. I want my daughter to say what she's feeling. Stifling feelings is never a good thing.

5. Don't let anyone kill your spirit. My 3-year-old girl can be wild. And, full disclosure, there are some days I feel like I might be losing my mind. But I wouldn't have it any other way. This is who she is. I imagine she'll calm down a bit as she gets older (I hope!), but I'm sure she'll always be a spirited, excited person, and no one should try to change that about her.

6. You're not always right. Growing up, we all think we know everything, don't we? I certainly did. Here's the thing, though: We don't. It often isn't until we become parents ourselves that we realize why our "mean" moms and dads made the decisions they made. I know this is something my daughter won't understand until she's much older, but I at least want her to know that every decision I make is for my children.


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7. Just because your friend is doing it, doesn't make it cool. No matter how confident or secure you are, peer pressure still exists. I really, really hope that my daughter always chooses the right path, but I hope that she realizes that there are some pretty manipulative people out there.

8. Set a good example. Being a big sister is a big responsibility. I hope my daughter teaches her brother kindness, compassion, and how to share her toys! I want her to be there for him when he's down and teach him both how to dance and that kale is actually really tasty! I want her to know that, whether she realizes it or not, she's going to be one of the biggest influences in his life.

9. When in doubt, wear all black. Head-to-toe black looks good on everyone. Always.

10. You can do or be anything you want. Seriously, my love. And Dada and I will always be here to support you.

What things do you want your daughter to know?

Nicole Fabian-Weber is the mama to a sweet toddler girl and a baby boy. She lives outside of NYC and writes for The Stir and numerous other online publications. Right now, she’s probably fantasizing about sleep.

Image ©iStock.com/BenAkiba

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I love it, I love it. This really hit home with me because I too have a 3 yr old daughter that I love more than anything yet get frustrated with daily. I should write a list also. Just somethin productive to do and you can always keep it and show her when she gets alot older. Kind of like a keepsake.

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