12 Moms Share the Shocking Thing Their Kid Did That Left Them Speechless

12 Moms Share the Shocking Thing Their Kid Did That Left Them Speechless

Let’s face it: Life with kids is messy, surprising, and oh so funny!

By Wendy Robinson

Whether it is totally embarrassing you in public or destroying the house, sometimes there are just NO WORDS to respond when your child does something shocking. On the bright side, at least these 12 moms got a good story out of it.

1. “I was really, really sick and had to change my daughter’s diaper. After I changed the diaper, I had to lay down for a second. She grabbed it and carried it over to me and upended it onto the side of my face. She dropped a poop on my face. I had nothing to say. Not a single word.” -- Jane T.

2. “My 4-year-old said, ‘I don’t like brown people.’ Turns out that he doesn’t like the color brown, but ‘brown people’ are actually OK.” -- Sadie A.

3. “We were flying back from spring break, my kids were 2 and 1/2 and 3 and 1/2. Going through the unbelievably long line at Orlando International, and as we approached the security desk to be split into the TSA line, my daughter shrieked in the middle of a crowd of people, ‘DON'T HIT ME!’ Needless to say, we were sent through the line where they do everything but strip search you. I've never been so embarrassed in my entire life. After we got through my daughter said, ‘I was just kidding, Mom, love you!’” -- Juli P.

4. “I was in the backyard gardening and my 4-year-old son suddenly yelled, ‘Mom! Mom! I found a really big worm!’ Yeah, that was actually a very small snake. I about had a heart attack to see him proudly holding it near his face.” -- Tegan B.

5. “My daughter, 2 and 1/2 years old, painted our hardwood floors with fingernail polish! I didn’t even remember the polish was in a reachable location. She was quiet for way too long. I should have known something was up.” -- Tracy R.

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6. “My 3-year-old is always messing with the strap on her car seat between her legs that tightens the chest harness. We'd talked numerous times about how pulling it makes the straps tighter, and I'd had to pull over several times to loosen her so I was having it no part of it this one day. She kept messing with it, and I told her if she pulled it too tight she would just have to deal with it being too tight. It was a warm day so windows were down, and of course, she tightened it too much at a red light, and with windows down and people next to us she starts yelling at the top of her lungs, ‘MOMMY UNTIE ME BACK HERE!’” -- Jodi M.

7. “My 5-year-old son informed me that his penis is like a toy his body came with. I had no idea how to respond to that.” -- Sue T.


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8. “My 3-and-1/2-year-old daughter made a birthday card for a friend’s birthday and proudly said, ‘Look, Mama! I drew this picture for [her] birthday card! This is the Dad, this is the Mom … These are the arms, legs, eyes.’ Then I noticed something and had to say: ‘That's great! What are these lines?’ I knew full well, but pointing to one line between the dad's legs, and two lines between the ladies' legs prompted my daughter to say, ‘That's the penis, and those are vaginas. Don't you know, Mom?’ And yes, the card was delivered. No, they didn't ask questions. Quasi proud, quasi horrified.” -- Erin J.

9. “My son said to my husband and myself, ‘OK guys, I'm going to tell you how to eat a butt.’ He meant BUG, but it came out butt and I'm still laughing about it.” -- Christine H.

10. “I was pushing my 3-year-old in the grocery cart when, out of nowhere, she LOUDLY said, ‘Your nipples are cool, Mom!’ I was so embarrassed that I just hightailed it out of the aisle and didn’t say a word!” -- Mona C.

11. “I was speechless when I walked in and saw that my kids had smeared a mixture of honey and peanut butter all over the furniture. So sticky!” -- Molly O.

12. “Thank goodness I was speechless when I accidentally, um, walked in on my 11-year-old son ‘exploring himself.’ I know all boys do it, and I don’t have an issue with it, but I also REALLY don’t need to see it happen.” -- Tara I.

What’s something your child did that left you speechless?

Wendy Robinson is a writer, working mom, and graduate student. Someday she'd like to sleep in again. She also blogs at www.athleticmonkey.com.

Image ©iStock.com/dcdebs

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