20 Signs Your Brain Has Been Totally Fried by Motherhood

20 Signs Your Brain Has Been Totally Fried by Motherhood

There sure are some strange ways motherhood seems to affect our brains.

By Lorraine Allen

Ah, motherhood ! The love, the joys, the indescribable pride and connection we feel for our insanely adorable (if challenging) offspring. There are so many ways becoming a mom changes us: Our bodies, our hormones, our homes, our marriages, and yup, even our minds, become completely altered through this wonderful, life-changing experience.

And while much of this transformation is welcome, some of it, like the love handles, the constant extreme fatigue, and, of course, the brain fog, we could all do without! Here, 20 sure signs that your brain has been fried by motherhood (but hey, NO ONE here is judging!). And luckily, there is always hope the fog will lift, someday, and all will be crystal clear and under control, once again. Right?!

1. You don’t want to brush hair (yours or your kids’) ever again.

2. You can't remember your best friend’s phone number.

3. You can’t remember your husband’s phone number.

4. You can’t remember your kids’ exact birthdays all the time. (That’s asking a bit much, don’t you think?! All those dates -- after ALL that pain? We moms forget for a reason, people. It’s called SURVIVAL MODE. )

5. You long for nothing more than to sit perfectly still and stare out into space, for a long, long time. Alone.

6. You look forward to wait times at your doctor appointments and long airplane rides, because that’s a chance to sit still. And be quiet.

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7. You are convinced that tiny plastic toys were created as torture devices for moms. (If you’ve stepped on one, or blown your back out picking them up a few too many times, or taken your kids or pets to the ER to remove them from their intestines, you know what I mean, I’m sure.)

8. You now dread bath time…

9. …and going to the bathroom (because you always have an audience when you go).

10. There are days when people say “how are you?” and it’s hard to not burst into tears, even though you are actually fine.

11. Lying facedown in the sand on a beach towel for a whole day -- or week, or month -- is the only gift you ever really want any more.

12. You have nightmares about the Tooth Fairy and magical bunnies and elves not doing their jobs properly.


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13. When you see shoes, books, or toys on the floor, it makes you want to scream and run away. Far away.

14. When you have trouble sleeping, “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star” pops into your head and keeps you even wider awake, because it just won’t stop.

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15. You secretly wish you were Mary Poppins sometimes.

16. You set your watch fast to try to trick yourself and your kids to be more on time, and not be late for everything, every day.

17. You steal your kids’ candy when they are not looking.

18. You talk to yourself.

19. You have left the house missing a crucial item of clothing at least once (if not once a month).

20. You cannot remember what you just said, did, or thought moments ago.

How has motherhood changed the way you think and function?

Lorraine Allen is a writer, and mom and personal chef to one spunky 6-year-old girl with severe food allergies. You can enjoy their delicious recipes and follow their amusing family cooking adventures at Feeding Lina.

Image ©iStock.com/michaeljung

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