25 ‘Bad’ Mom Confessions -- Because You’re Not the Only One With Secrets!

25 ‘Bad’ Mom Confessions -- Because You’re Not the Only One With Secrets!

Secrets, lies, and leaving the potty training to dad -- mom confessions to make you LOL.

By Wendy Robinson

Sometimes I look around my house and see dusty bookshelves, sheets that haven’t been washed in weeks and children who are probably overdue for a bath and I feel like I must be the only mom who has “dirty” secrets like this. Other moms have it all together and somehow manage to keep their kids and home clean, all while keeping smiles on their faces, right?

In the hopes of proving myself wrong, I posed the question to my neighborhood social media group and was delighted to discover that I was not the only mom willing to confess the truth about what really goes on behind closed doors. The ladies below are my kind of moms:

1. “When my husband is home, I often pretend to use the bathroom while he watches the kids and I just sit on the edge of the tub and read a magazine. People in the movies are always faking pregnancies, but if they ever start faking constipation, my secret is out.” -- Carrie N.

2. “My kids had pretzels for dinner last night because I didn't want to make something only for them to complain about it -- again.” -- Molly O.

3. “My 6-year-old HATES brushing her teeth. Sometimes I give her a mint or gum to avoid the argument!! I'd rather have her go without brushing than miss school!” -- Heather K.

4. “I sometimes find playing with my kids to be mind numbingly boring.” -- Wendy T.

5. “We have enough underwear so I only have to do laundry every three weeks.” -- Kristina M.

6. “I'm sitting in the lobby at the gym playing on my phone while my kids are in child care. Someone else can watch them for a change!” -- Tracy R.

7. “My dad was a pediatrician, and he always said, firmly, that kids need no more than one to two baths per week. ‘A little dirt never hurt 'em.’ I am also an infrequent sheet changer, wood floor mopper, duster, and bath towel washer (hello, we are CLEAN when we get out of the shower!).” -- Sarah H.

8. “I throw my kids' crafts away when they are asleep. I can't take all that stuff lying around the house. I mean, we keep some of it too, but a gal can only take so many sparkles, gumdrops, and pretzel sticks glued to paper! Then when they ask where it went, I quickly place the blame back on them. Well, where did you put it? I'm horrible.” -- Sarah T.

9. “My kids pretty much solely survive on chicken nuggets, fish sticks, cereal, and fruit.” -- Lisa S.

10. “Last night [my child] gagged and puked in our bed in the middle of the night. A bunch of boogers and bile on my pillow. I just flipped the pillow over and we both went back to sleep.” -- Ara E.

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11. “My kids bathe daily, sometimes twice a day. But only because they are quiet and don't ask me to play with them while they're in there. Bathe away, girls!” -- Claire L.

12. “I have been ‘sick’ on numerous dinner nights at my mother-in-law’s. Once my husband and kids leave, I open a bottle of wine and turn on the DVR.” -- Elizabeth M.

13. “My children believe that in order to have a piece of Halloween candy, they have to pay a ‘candy tax’ to me.” -- Laura T.

14. “We mop our wood floors maybe once a quarter.” -- Patricia P.



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15. “I hardly ever comb my daughter's hair. And it's curly. So by the end of the week it's like she has dreadlocks.” -- Tracy R.

16. “I told my husband that I had been working on potty training our son, but it was a no-go, and said that the boy needs to have his daddy really get him in the game. In truth, I hadn't even attempted it, but when my husband took all of last week off, I gave him the job to get the boy trained.” -- Melissa H.

17. “Whenever my 2-year-old son sees a bottle of wine, he says, ‘Mama's?’” -- Angie H.

18. “I told my husband that I couldn't clean the litter box when I was ‘of child bearing years!’ He unfortunately did his own research and called my bluff. And now I'm sad.” -- Laura W.

19. “My 15-month-old threw her toothbrush in the toilet ... it was clean water so I rescued the brush, ran it through some hot water, and she's still using it.” -- Elizabeth J.

20. “My kids eat PB&J for lunch every. single. day. To my defense, I sometimes offer them something else, but they choose PB&J.” -- Leeza M.

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21. “Umm, my kid only gets one bath per week, and that's only because of his weekly swimming lesson.” -- Suzanne S.

22. “I often (almost always) lure my 2-year-old twins out of parks/indoor playgrounds with suckers.” -- Jennifer B.

23. “I plan [craft] projects that require very little kid help, get their portion out of the way right away, then spend the next few hours working on it while Daddy watches the kids. It looks all important and mommy-of-the-year-ish, but really, it's an excuse for me to get quiet time.” -- Carrie W.

24. “I have ignored cat puke/hairballs if I know my husband will see it so he has to clean it up. They completely gross me out.” -- Laura W.

25. “I left the grocery store when it was about -50 degrees, with my coat, hat, mittens, and scarf on. A kind, older woman stopped me and said, ‘Dear, perhaps you should put your child's coat on her. It's rather chilly out.’ First child -- that's all the defense I have, first child.” -- Trudie E.

Now, doesn’t this list make you feel better about yourself?

Wendy Robinson is a writer, working mom, and graduate student. Someday she'd like to sleep in again. She also blogs at www.athleticmonkey.wordpress.com.

Image ©iStock.com/binabina

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