By Nicole Fabian-Weber

I heard about the terrible twos, but no one ever warned me about the "threenage" years -- you know, that phase when your toddler believes she’s a teenager. (And it's utterly hilarious and adorable, albeit sometimes a bit maddening.) Got a little one on your hands who doesn't have a clue that she’s little? You, too, may have a threenager. Here, nine signs you're raising a threenager.

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Remember when your child was cool with "Wheels on the Bus" -- or whatever you felt like playing? With threenagers, not really the case. Not only will my daughter request specific songs when we're in the car, I also get instructions on the volume and whether or not I'm permitted to sing (or am allowed to hear her sing).

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Ah, it was so nice when you could dress your baby up in adorable clothes -- that matched. But, now your kid wants to dress herself. And, of course, she will only pick the loudest, most garish, non-matching things.


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Three-year-olds want to do everything by themselves. No joke, my daughter recently threw a tantrum because she wanted to go for a walk around the neighborhood by herself. What's next, doll? You want to borrow the car?

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Long gone are the days of having your child just do what you tell him to do -- actually, who am I kidding? When did they ever do what we told them to do? But, with a threenager, you get a full-on protest, complete with hands on hips.

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If it weren't for your "one show per day" rule, your kiddo would camp out in the living room, eyes glued to the tube.

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No longer can you put your child to sleep in his crib and creep out of the room to go off and enjoy a few hours of peace and quiet. No, siree. With a threenager, you all but have to write him a check to go to sleep at a reasonable hour.

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Just like, well, actual teenagers, toddlers like to join the crowd. Sure, at home she doesn’t want to eat yellow cheese, but if little Sally is eating it, suddenly it becomes her favorite food!

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Has your 3-year-old suddenly turned into a sassy pants? Yep, she's a threenager. This week alone I was told by my daughter to "stop saying 'yay' so loud," to "stop looking” at her, to "not laugh" at something (funny) that she said, and to "stand over there" when she was coming down the stairs.

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Despite you telling your son 18 times that he can't eat crayons or have a cookie, the minute you turn your back, what does he do? He eats the darn crayons and steals a cookie!

What does your threenager do?

Nicole Fabian-Weber is the mama to a sweet toddler girl and a baby boy. She lives outside of NYC and writes for The Stir and numerous other online publications. Right now, she’s probably fantasizing about sleep.

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Despite you telling your son 18 times that he can't eat crayons or have a cookie, the minute you turn your back, what does he do? He eats the darn crayons and steals a cookie!

What does your threenager do?

Nicole Fabian-Weber is the mama to a sweet toddler girl and a baby boy. She lives outside of NYC and writes for The Stir and numerous other online publications. Right now, she’s probably fantasizing about sleep.

Image ©iStock.com/chuckcollier

You may also like:

11 Reasons Why the Toddler Stage Is the Best Ever

10 Ways to Help Your Toddler Sleep Better

Get Money-Saving Coupons on Favorite Brands Like Pampers and Tide