17 Things Husbands Should Stop Saying to Their Wives

17 Things Husbands Should Stop Saying to Their Wives

17 Things Husbands Should Stop Saying to Their Wives


By Leah Maxwell

Husbands say the darnedest things. And sometimes their wives wish they wouldn’t. “Men tend to be direct and are less likely to get the nuances of language and the underlying emotional messages that women are attuned to,” explains psychologist Mary Kelly Blakeslee, PhD.

But that doesn’t mean couples are in for a lifetime of misunderstanding, according to Blakeslee. “Knowing that is how women are wired should help men to focus on the relationship, not just the message,” she says. She urges husbands to see that, for many women, it’s more about feelings than facts.

Even the most sensitive and well-meaning spouse sometimes puts his foot in his mouth now and then. But if yours does it over and over, you might need to be more specific about what he says that drives you nuts. And men? If you’re reading this (especially if your wife sent you the story), here’s what 17 women said they wish husbands – their own and all husbands, in general -- would stop saying.

1. “‘Stop crying, it’s just a movie.’” -- Melissa M., Richmond, Virginia

2. “‘What did you do all day?’ Mine says it jokingly, but it is STILL ANNOYING!” -- Jennifer L., Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

3. “‘You never told me about that.’ Because 99 percent of the time, I did. The 1 percent that I didn’t, it’s on the calendar.” -- Erin K., Leesburg, Virginia

4. “Your triceps could use some work.” -- Kristin L., Nashville, Tennessee

5. “‘Maybe it's because ...’ ‘You should try ...’ ‘Stop doing ...’ (or variations thereof). Anything that suggests he’s trying to fix rather than listen/empathize.” -- Naomi N., East Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania

6. “I’ll qualify this by saying that my husband has only said this once, because he’s a fast learner, but: ‘Wow, you’re still hungry?’” -- Cindy W., Raleigh, North Carolina

7. “‘Why are you so grouchy today? Ohhhh, must be hormones.’ And the worst is when you’re cranky about a real thing, and it’s flippantly blamed on PMS. HULK RAGE SMASH RAWR.” -- Amy K., Woodinville, Washington

8. “‘Where is the [insert any household object here]?’ I realize that I (like most women I know) have photographic object location recall, but husbands have these nifty gadgets called eyes.” -- Holly F., Los Angeles, California

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9. “‘Be careful,’ after I’ve already hurt (or almost hurt) myself or broken something. Saying, ‘Careful!’ after I’ve already splashed hot coffee on my hand due to a leaky travel mug? Not helpful.” -- Kristen S., Gainesville, Florida

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10. “‘You need to relax.’” -- Hillary W., Coquitland, British Columbia

11. “‘It’s OK. I like you with the extra curves,’ after announcing he lost massive weight in no time when we both went on a diet.” -- Nancy G., Portland, Oregon

12. “‘Are you upset?’ ‘No.’ ‘You seem upset.’ ‘I wasn’t, but if you ask me that many more times I will be.’” -- Brooke R., San Francisco, California

13. “‘Sure, I can babysit the kids.’ (My husband has never said this, but I have heard it from others.)” -- A’Dell S., Dallas, Texas

14. “‘You’re turning into your mother!’” -- Heather C., Sandy, Utah

15. “‘What I find attractive in a woman is ... ’ and then a list of certain physical attributes that the wife does not have.” --Sarah R., Madison, Alabama

16. “‘You’re being sensitive.’” -- Maria M., St. Pete, Florida

17. “What's for dinner?” -- Katie B., Franklin, Tennessee

What do you wish your husband would stop saying to you?


Leah Maxwell is a book editor, freelance writer, cereal addict, wife, and mom to two young boys. She has been blogging at A Girl and a Boy since 2003.

Image ©iStock.com/GlobalStock


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