8 Signs You Married the Right Person

8 Signs You Married the Right Person

What does a solid, happy marriage look like? The experts weigh in.

By Judy Koutsky

Marriage can be hard and sometimes your mate can really drive you nuts. Ever wondered if you married the right person? We asked the experts – and married moms – to share the signs that show that you married Mr. Right.

1. You have a strong trust. At the heart of a good marriage is trust. If you know that your spouse has a deep trust in you and you feel the same about him, that goes a long way, says Karen Sherman, psychologist and author of Marriage Magic! Find It, Keep It, and Make It Last.

2. You enjoy spending time together. There’s nobody I’d rather go to dinner with than my husband. As much as I love my friends and I love hanging out with other couples as well as groups, when it’s just my husband and me, I’m the happiest. He gets me. He understands me. And when I’m with him, I feel like we’re a team.

3. You put the other first. With kids, work, activities, and everything else in life, it’s hard to make your spouse a priority. But when you’re with the right person, you make sure you prioritize that relationship. Showing you appreciate that person -- and doing little things, things you did in the beginning of the relationship -- indicates you’re a good match, says Sherman.

4. Your spouse doesn’t always have to be right. You want a person who’s willing to invest energy into developing and maintaining a strong marriage relationship, says Mark E. Sharp, a psychologist that specializes in relationship issues. That means the person is open to hearing your viewpoints and considering alternative experiences, not someone who insists that his viewpoint is the only viewpoint.

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5. You have mutual respect. While some people think shared interests is a strong indicator, Joanna Dyanes, mom to three kids in Chicago, Illinois, thinks it’s really respect that matters. “My husband loves sports. I hate them. I love to go out and socialize, he’s a homebody. And yet I know without a doubt that he’s the right person for me. I respect him enough to give him his sports and alone time because I know it’s important to him. He loves and respects me enough that it doesn’t bother him that I’m at book club or cooking club or PTA many weeknights. We respect who the other person is and that means giving them time to enjoy their interests.”

6. You make each other laugh. Life can be really hard at times, and you need someone by your side who can lighten your mood when it gets dire. “My husband and I were having an intense discussion about our kids,” says Lorry Mitchel, mom to three boys in New York City. “It was getting a bit heated, then he said something out of the blue that just made me burst out laughing. It’s why I love him. He knows when to change gears.”


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7. You treat each other with kindness. Being in a good marriage means remembering to be nice to each other and to apologize sincerely when you’re wrong, says Lottie Grimes, a licensed professional counselor. Saying “I’m sorry” is never easy, but those couples in a good marriage know it’s important to say those words – and mean it.

8. You’re excited about the future together. Whether it’s taking a family trip, attending your child’s kindergarten graduation, or planning a date night, if you’re excited about planning the future with your partner, that’s a sign you married the right one.

How do you know you married the right person?

Judy Koutsky is the former Editorial Director of KIWI magazine, a green parenting publication. She was also Executive Editor of Parenting.com, AOL Parent and BabyTalk.com. Follow her on Twitter @JudyKoutsky.

Image ©iStock.com/Dean Mitchell

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