8 Spouses Share the Biggest Challenge in Their Marriage After Having Kids

8 Spouses Share the Biggest Challenge in Their Marriage After Having Kids

To parents, sometimes even little things kids do or need can feel overwhelming at times.

By Lorraine Allen

Being married is wonderful. You have a partner to love – someone with whom you share the joys and challenges of each day. You have a spouse, someone to divide the stresses and expenses and needs of children with.

But in addition to the giggles, hugs, love, and laughs kids bring, the challenges, stresses, and expenses instantly multiply, putting pressure and strain on the strongest marriages. Things are never the same in a marriage once you have kids. Here, eight spouses share THE biggest challenge in their marriage after they became parents.

1. “Even though we thought we were on the same page about how many kids we wanted (2), now that we have a kid who has special needs, we are not on the same page anymore, and it’s been really hard to reconcile.” -- Emily K., mom of one

2. “I’d have to say it’s not having time, no matter how hard we seem to try, to do the things we used to do together anymore. Even our date nights often revolve around the kids, because it’s hard to find a sitter, one kid gets sick, and we have to cancel, or it’s the only time we can discuss stuff we don’t want them to hear, so we end up talking about them.” -- Jason, dad of three

More from P&G everyday: Men Confess How They Feel About Marriage After Kids

3. “We argue now, and we never did before. We have a whole different, edgier, exhausted tone with each other half the time. I miss the way we were before. So much more lighthearted. We laughed a lot. Now, we’re so serious.” -- Evan, dad of two

4. “Being completely physically exhausted all the time from kids, so that there is no energy left to have fun together anymore.” -- Rachel, mom of three

5. “Never being able to have a conversation without screaming kids interrupting. There are SO many things we need to discuss, just to arrange schedules, take care of the house and kids, and it’s impossible when you can’t finish a sentence!” -- Ruby, mom of two

6. “I actually feel like my wife is a whole different person than the woman I married since we had kids. In some ways, I like the new her. She’s the mom of my kids, of course! But she’s so stressed out and overwhelmed many days, it’s hard to live with. I am too though, so there’s not much I can do, that I don’t already do, to make things easier for her. I guess kids change everyone.” -- Gabriel, dad of two

7. “By far, the biggest challenge for us has been finances. There’s nothing affordable about having kids these days! It’s hard on our marriage. We always feel like we just need to work harder, and harder, and harder.” -- Lara, mom of one

More from P&G everyday: 8 Scientific Facts About Successful Marriages

8. “Having twins. Two kids the same age feels like double the work, at twice the speed, at the same time that most parents have a hard time with one. It’s unbelievably difficult, I feel. Everything is always about them now. Every minute of every day and night. I guess it will get easier, but it’s all I can think about or have thought about for four years. I couldn’t even tell you what color shirt my husband is wearing today, or what time he went to bed last night. I guess I feel disconnect, and just sucked in entirely by this black hole that is my kids’ constant needs.” -- Debra, mom of two

What is the biggest challenge in your marriage since having kids?

Lorraine Allen is a writer, and mom and personal chef to one spunky 6-year-old girl with severe food allergies. You can enjoy their delicious recipes and follow their amusing family cooking adventures at Feeding Lina.

Image ©iStock.com/skodonnell


Become a member of P&G everyday and get exclusive offers!

Become a member

You may also like:

6 Ways Parents Can Keep Their Marriages Strong and Happy

8 Moms Share Their Secrets to Keeping Romance Alive in Their Marriages

Get a Shopper Card and Download Coupons for Instant Savings at Checkout

Complete your personal information

Please fill in the information marked with an asterisk to proceed; if you want to get tailored offers and content, don't forget to fill in the optional fields.

This is just a simply thank you for bringing back my ex-wife after three years and four months of ongoing feud. His mysterious spell worked as testified by people he has helped, he saved my married just as promised. I will conclude by saying with Dr. spell you don’t need to fight anymore or go through pains just to save your marriage. His contact email is (dr.wakinalovetemple@gmail.com)

  • Report it