Men Confess How They Feel About Marriage After Kids

Men Confess How They Feel About Marriage After Kids

Men share about the many ways marriage changes after having kids.

By Wendy Robinson

When I was pregnant with my first child, I had a lot of questions about the future. What would I be like as a mom? Would the baby sleep? And -- this is a big one -- how would having kids change my marriage?

Having kids does change a marriage, especially in the early, exhausting years. But how do men think about marriage after parenthood? Let some of these candid (and sweet) guys tell you what they really think:

1.I think of her first as a mom, mainly because she is such a great one. Don't get me wrong -- she is an awesome wife too, but since our kids sort of dominate all our time, I think we are both sort of parents first, spouses second.” -Matt, 36, father of two kids ages 5 and 3, married 11 years

2. “I don’t want to sound like a jerk, but it was hard at first! I sort of felt like I was replaced by the baby, and it seemed like my wife was always annoyed at me. Now I can see she was just really tired and that I needed to step it up more. Things are getting back to normal, I hope.” -Craig, 31, father of a 2-year-old, married three years.

3. “After our daughter was born, my wife had some complications and lost a lot of blood. I’ve never been more scared in my life. It made me realize I had so much more to lose now.” -Anthony, 25, father of a 3-year-old, married two years

4. “This sounds super corny, but it made me realize I would love her forever. She’s my best friend and the mother of my child. Nobody can top that.” -Seth, 41, father of an 8-year-old, married 17 years

5. “Don’t tell my wife I told you this, but we didn’t have sex for almost eight months after the first kid. EIGHT MONTHS. And then we accidently got pregnant the first time we had sex again. I kind of thought I’d lose my mind. It was overwhelming. It seems like happy chaos now, though.” -Dan, 29, father of two kids ages 3 and 2, married five years.

6. “I think we feel closer. Sure, we don't go out as much. But we've always been a real good team, I think. And this has been our biggest opportunity yet to engage that part of our relationship.” -Nathan, 27, father of a 5-month-old, married six years

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7. "I've been married twice. With the first one, things were bad before kids and got worse after. We both let ourselves go and the kids took so much time that we basically ignored the marriage. I thought of her as only a mom and not a wife anymore. The second time around, things were good before and different but better afterwards. I think kids are like a thing that intensifies what your relationship is already like." -James, 45, four kids ages 13, 11, 4, and 1, married seven years

8. "I love my kids, but I sometimes miss our life before they came along. I'd give anything for a long, lazy weekend with my wife!" -Miguel, 32, father of two kids ages 6 and 2, married eight years

9. “The roles in our relationship changed. We became Mom and Dad, not just husband and wife. All the changes were for the better, and we have an even greater connection to each other than before children.” -Bryan, 37, three kids ages 11, 9, and 5, married 14 years

How do you think your marriage changed after kids?

Wendy Robinson is a writer, working mom, and graduate student. Someday she'd like to sleep in again. She also blogs at

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I found this topic very useful and helpful i will show it to my partner thank u lots

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