The Weird 'Date' My Husband & I Go On Now That We Have 2 Kids

The Weird 'Date' My Husband & I Go On Now That We Have 2 Kids

One mom realizes that the drive is so much more important than the destination.

By Nicole Fabian-Weber

Thinking about it now, it seems a little ridiculous. But, until my second child was born -- when my first was 2 years old -- I sat in the backseat of my car with my daughter. It started out, obviously, when she was just a newborn. The thought of sitting up front with my husband on the ride home from the hospital didn't cross my mind for a split second. And, from there on out, I just instinctively walked to the back to sit with my daughter whenever my family was going somewhere. And on the rare occasions that I was the one driving when all three of us were heading out, my husband sat in the back with our girl. At the time, it seemed completely normal to us.

After the birth of our son, though, I couldn’t sit in the back with my daughter -- and I felt really horrible at first. With a new baby in the house, there were so many changes in my little girl's world. I hated the fact that I wasn't in the back of the car with her anymore, giggling, talking, and pointing out all the sights as we passed them.

But something happened recently: I realized that sitting in the front seat with my husband is awesome.

A few weeks ago, my family of four made a little day trip an hour and a half away from our home. About 15 minutes into the ride, I realized that my husband and I had been having a completely uninterrupted conversation (and it wasn't about our kids!). I couldn't tell you the last time that happened. As we drove down the road with the windows cracked, our sweet children perfectly content in the back, my husband put his arm around me, and suddenly, it felt like old times -- the times we spent driving around together when we were young and didn't have kids.

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When you first get together with someone, doing anything with them -- even the most mundane of tasks -- is exciting. My husband and I were living in Los Angeles when we first met, and as anyone who's ever been to congested Los Angeles knows, you spend a lot of time in your car there. We took lots of mini trips back then -- to the beach, to farmer's markets that were just outside of town, to Vegas -- and we wound up being in the car a good chunk of the time. But back then, when our responsibilities were minimal, being in the car wasn't a task. It wasn't a pain in the butt, having to sit in stopped traffic together. We joked around, flirted, listened to music. I remember always having my bare feet on his dashboard. It was fun.

Things are much different now. For one, we live on the East Coast and don't spend nearly as much time driving. And we've got two kids. And a house. And responsibilities that weren't a glint in our eye back then. I wouldn't trade my life for anything right now (it sounds like such a cliché, but it's true), but man, life was so much easier back then.


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Anyway, the front seat. When we were driving the other day on our little road trip, it really felt like "the old times," perhaps more so than ever before. Of course, when we arrived at our destination, there were car seats to deal with, diapers to change, hungry kids to feed. But during the drive, it felt like it was just us. There was no TV to distract us, no computer to look at. We just talked. And flirted. And it really was so fun.

Needless to say, I no longer feel bad about not sitting in the backseat with my daughter. She has her little brother to keep her company now, and, as you can tell, I've grown quite fond of sitting up front with my man. I also know that every time we get in the car, it won't be as blissful of a trip as it was a few weeks ago. But, at least my husband and I will be up front. Together.

What activity have you found surprisingly romantic since having kids?

Nicole Fabian-Weber is the mama to a toddler girl and a baby boy. She lives outside of NYC and writes for The Stir and numerous other online publications. Right now, she’s probably fantasizing about sleep.

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