The Day I Shared Too Much About My Daughter Online

The Day I Shared Too Much About My Daughter Online

A tween is mortified when her mom shares a private moment from her life online.

By: Amy Oztan

I’ve always been an over-sharer, long before social media and blogs. If anything, I thought that being online helped because people could look at my stuff or not -- I wasn’t cornering them at a party or chasing them down the sidewalk. But sometimes I struggle to find the right balance when it comes to sharing about my kids.

My son has never cared what I put online about him, but my daughter, Fiona, is a lot more sensitive and private. She, my mom, and I went shopping a little while back, and Fiona said she wanted to get some training bras. Knowing that we were entering a whole new era of adolescence and in our mom-daughter relationship, but also knowing that my daughter wouldn’t want much said about this publicly, I simply published a picture of some training bras on a hanger with the caption, "And so it begins."

I honestly thought I’d done OK.

Until Fiona found out.

She came to me one day very hurt and embarrassed. The first thing I did was apologize. I thanked her for coming to me and telling me that she was upset. And I told her that I would be much more careful in the future when I shared things that were about her.

But then, I also explained it to her from my perspective.


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You see, I didn’t stop being my own person when I became a mom. There are things that I need to talk about with my peers, and yes, having a daughter going through puberty affects me too! I look to friends for support and advice. (And unfortunately, one of those friends threw me under the bus by mentioning the training bra post to Fiona.)

She seemed to understand. I promised her that while I would still need to talk about my feelings with my friends online, I would make sure that anything sensitive was in private groups -- like talking in a room full of people I know, I explained to her. So yes, her friends could still possibly see it when I talked about her, but only if they’re looking at their parents’ private conversations, which is something I can’t control.

I remember being in a McDonald’s with my mother and her friend a few days after I’d gotten my period for the first time. She matter-of-factly recounted this momentous event to her friend, and I was mortified. Not because she told her friend, but because I was right there.

I will still discuss my children. But I owe it to them to do it behind their backs.

And don’t worry -- I got Fiona’s permission before writing this.

Have you ever shared about your kids online and later regretted it?

Amy Oztan is the founder of Selfish Mom. She's a slow runner and a fast eater. When she's not on her laptop, she loves watching TV, singing, reading, gardening, and baking. Amy lives in Brooklyn with her husband, two kids, and cat.

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